


50 Shades of Blue and Red

by Oliver1218



Category: 50 Shades of Grey - E. L. James, Homestuck
Genre: Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver1218/pseuds/Oliver1218
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My friend wanted me to make a parody porn of Dave and John. I don't know the characters terribly well so forgive me...</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 Shades of Blue and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please comment so I know how I'm doing and leave suggestions! :) thank you!!

John frolicked completely naked up to Dave's room carrying two glasses full of Apple Juice, which was a bad decision because that much frolicking had caused the Apple Juice to spill all over Dave's carpet. He paused in front of the door and called Dave's name announcing that he had Apple Juice for him. 

"The door is open John, come on in" Dave replied.

"Okie dokie!" John kicked the door open revealing a very naked Dave laying down on his bed, his penis erect and very penis like. 

"What a lovely whoopie stick you have Dave"

"Thank you, you're too sweet"

John blushed and sat in front of Dave spilling the Apple Juice onto Dave's trouser snake, oh no! 

But Dave just smiled and said "Pour more of the apple juice on me John"

"But why"

"Because my dick is thirsty... "

John looks at Dave slightly taken aback, a single eyebrow raised questioningly.

"Thirsty for your sweet nerd ass!!"

Dave then proceeded to put his sticky Apple juice soaked penis at Johns anus.

"Are you ready for the sex?" Dave asked in a low whisper.

"I am so ready for the sex. Put the penis in my anus so I may feel pleasure. Then pull it out... And then push it back in... Then out..."

Dave moaned at Johns dirty words

"Then in again"

"I swear to God John if you continue to speak in this way I will orgasm in the foreseeable future".

"...And then out once more..." John breathed daringly in his ear.

"Oh my lord such erotic words!!" He gasped as he shuddered exactly 3 and a half times from such stimulation.

"John" said Dave between shudders "we must... Have a cum gun battle at once. My penis can't take this."

"Dave... Are you sure...? I mean... To cum during a battle of the penis... That's the ultimate dream man. Rare are the men that attempt it... Fewer are the men that cum... And none have survived such a powerful orgasm!"

"We have to do it" Dave voice was strained with longing and need. "For the good of our love sticks" He reached a single hand out to touch Johns face softly stroking his soft skin with his thumb. Pulling John's face closer to his he then add "and if you don't I'll spank you like a little bitch until your ass is red"

John gasped! "Anything but that! Not a spanking!"

"Oh yes John a spanking, right on the butt!"

"I... I'll do it..."

Dave grinned. Oh yes. This would be good. A penis fight is going to take place. Today... Is the best day... Today... here will be... Orgasms. PENIS orgasms.


End file.
